Inevitability of Change

I listened and cringed as I remembered the feeling of being 18 and believing that no one else had ever experienced the things I was experiencing.

The other day I was on the phone with my partner in crime listening to her vent about the complexities of the teenage social realm she is trying to help her kiddos navigate. when her daughter chimed in with a complaint about how certain friends have changed. I listened and cringed as I remembered the feeling of being 18 and believing that no one else had ever experienced the things I was experiencing.

To an extent that thought process isn't completely incorrect. Each person experiences things just a little differently. What one person may consider difficult or disheartening another person may not even really register. But this particular conversation centered around people changing and how upsetting it was for her that she lost this friendship due to changes in her friend's personality.

I began to think about friendships that have come and gone in my small circle as I listened. Change can be both beautiful and simultaneously harsh, but that is something I really believe we can only understand with the passing of time. Experience is the best teacher.

We hear the saying 'the only constant in life is change' starting from a very young age. That phrase is batted around to explain unfairness, sadness, and so many other emotions that are associated with change. But when applied to a person's personality, as a young person it can be easy to think that a personality is something that should be immune to change. We should be who we are all the time. I would argue that personalities don't necessarily change, but rather we prune away the personality traits that no longer apply to the phase of life we are in.

So, what really sparks 'changes' in personality? Personally, I believe the biggest catalyst for personality pruning is our priorities. As young people we are just getting to know ourselves in relation to the world and what we want to do with our lives. We are impulsive, excited and have time to just experiment. Then as we grow, we learn the weight of responsibility. Feeling what it takes to succeed we shift our priorities. This shift in priorities can often look like spending less time with friends and prioritizing work over fun.

Shifting priorities can affect how we speak, the way we present ourselves to the world, and how we spend our free time. Does this mean someone has changed and become a completely different person? I say, no. The parts of them that enjoyed goofing around and experimenting is still there, but it had to be pruned down in order to propel them toward their new aspirations.

Everything changes, it is inevitable. People have to grow and mature in order to survive. We have to be willing to accept people in all stages of change and understand that the changes we are seeing have a purpose.

I will end with this quote from Frankie Ballard's song 'Young and Crazy' - "How am I ever gonna get to be old and wise if I ain't ever young and crazy?"