Military Spouse

The truth is if it wasn't my husband serving it would be someone else's.

My calendar has become a sort of security blanket for me. Each square filled with color coded plans. A lifeline in the middle of all the chaos that comes with juggling this military life. Today I am putting my daughter's flag football schedule for the fall into my calendar. Mapping out how I will get everyone to practices and games while my husband is gone or unavailable.

I am not a single parent, but when the time comes for kids to choose what sports or activities, they want to participate in for the school year their choices are often limited by what I can manage on my own. While there are times when my husband is able to pick up the slack shuffling kids with me, I have to plan as if he will not be present.

Being prepared is a key to success. Knowing what each day should look like and arming myself with a game plan makes the solo times a little easier. Now, I know plans cannot be set in stone. Flexibility is required in all situations. Having a plan simply makes it easier to shift and move things around when the inevitable curve ball comes my way.

Looking at my calendar today I am counting the number of weekends I need to plan to be the sole source of entertainment for our kiddos. Maybe entertainment is the wrong word. We will have games, church, and friends to fill most of their weekend time. But when my husband is gone there are times when I feel this pressure to make their weekends extra special take away from the fact that their dad is gone.

Someone made a post the other day about their parents picking up their kids from school and helping with dinner while they were working. That post was meant to be a shout out to their parents for being awesome grandparents, but all it did was fill me with envy. I wonder, sometimes, what it would be like to have a support system and built in sitters. To have stable grandparents who could help pick up the slack. For my kids to have aunts and uncles nearby for weekends or to come sit in the stands cheering them on as they compete.

Comparison is the thief of joy. My kids are very loved. That knowledge gives me comfort as I get ready to fold laundry and help my husband prepare for a TDY. In the days ahead I know I will have moments where I feel like I am just not enough. I will be overwhelmed, exhausted, and generally busy. In the midst of the chaos, I will pull out my calendar, mark things off one by one, and feel pride in the way I have found to handle this military life.

The truth is if it wasn't my husband serving it would be someone else's. If it was not my kids missing time with their dad, it would be someone else's. This life is not easy, but it is ours. Count your blessings and know that "the hard times pass like the good ones do". So, Go. Fight. Win.