God always brings you opportunities to practice our fruits. Man, o man I fell short of God’s glory the other day. I was not the example of patience, kindness, or self-control that we as Christian’s are called to be. So, before I jump into this story just remember that I am a work in progress so please be kind.
I walk my kids to school. This is not something I get to do every day of the week, but I make the effort to at least two or three days out of the week. We are blessed to have a sidewalk trail from our house to the school. My kids enjoy walking with me and telling me about school, their friends, their interest, and whatever other random things they feel like telling me. This time is precious to me because I only get this one chance to be their mom: this one chance to make memories. Nine times out of ten this morning walk is easy and filled with nothing other than our conversations.
Every now and then we run into conflict on the trail. Like the wild west, conflict usually comes through interaction with people outside of your circle. Now, I must explain for a second. This sidewalk we are walking on is what I would call a normal two-person sidewalk. Meaning, two people can walk somewhat comfortably side by side. We live in a base housing community because my husband is active duty, and there are a lot of kids in our community. Many of these adorable little people ride their bikes, scooters, or electric scooters to school.
Something I have really tried to impress upon kids is to be aware of others. Not only to be aware, but to understand that their destination or presence is not any more important than anyone else’s. There is too much ‘main character’ energy in today’s world. Social media has given everyone this false sense of importance. This kind of thinking leads a generation of people who the rules of general kindness and consideration are someone else’s responsibility.
Riding to school on a bike or a scooter is great, if that ride is accompanied by an understanding of the rules and consideration for anyone else you may encounter. In our community there are guidelines set out that state all bikes and scooters must yield to pedestrians. Not that I am sitting here saying I expect kids to have read through the housing handbook. No, that would be ridiculous. However, I do believe it is a parent’s responsibility to educate their children on safety, awareness, and not running people down on the sidewalks.
Is it really that serious, Stephanie? For the most part no, but there have been a few instances that really irked me. Just to drive my point home here are some of the run ins I have experienced. Walking home from school one day my daughter was knocked over by someone zooming by on a scooter. Another day I was walking with my kids, and a kid ran into the back of my foot with her electric scooter. Multiple times I have been clipped by handlebars of kids on bikes. All these instances have put more than just a sour taste in my mouth when it comes to bikes plus scooters plus sidewalks.
Tired of constantly jumping out of the way when bikes and scooters should be yielding to pedestrians, I stopped stepping off the sidewalk when a rider crossed my path. Instead, I moved to one side, and the rider will either slow down or go around. Usually, I hear “excuse me” about 3 or 4 times before they just go around. The word excuse me does not give you the right-of-way. Most of the time I do not engage or acknowledge anyone is speaking.
Now that the backstory is complete, we come to the part of the story where crazy unfolds multiple times. A few Fridays ago, I was walking with my kids to school. My daughter had a test, and I was reviewing some of the questions from her study guide. Behind me I hear a young lady loudly saying “excuse me” repeatedly. So, I keep reading the questions and scoot to the side of the sidewalk. This young lady moves past us and in that tone that middle school girls use she snarks “I said excuse me.” Nothing gets under my skin faster than tone. The fact that this kid thought it was appropriate to speak that way to any adult or stranger says to me this kid doesn’t have any respect or consideration for others.
At this point I tell her exactly what I have said to the kids who have run into me with their scooters or clipped me with their bikes. With a firm tone I stated “Excuse me does not give you the right-of-way. Sidewalks are for walking. If we are going to slow you may ride your scooter in the grass or get off and walk it around us till you get to where the sidewalk is clear.” This child must have been used to never be corrected because she snapped back in a petulant argumentative tone with “Who are you talking to?” Now both of my kid’s faces were frozen in total shock because they would never talk to me let alone another adult like that.
As one of my favorite humans and one of my best friends would say audacity must have been on sale. So, I looked at this undisciplined disrespectful spoiled urchin of a child and stated in a very matter-of-fact tone “I am speaking to you. The child whose parents never taught right from wrong.” Then I turned around, refocused my energy on getting my kids to school, and shook off my frustration. My daughter looked at me and could see I was ready to move on, so she shifted the topic to explain why Lunchables are better than their competitors Lunchly. She said something about the nacho cheese tasting too much like milk in the Lunchly version.
We made it to the front gate and as I went to hug my son, I could tell his little brain was spinning. Looking confused he said, “I just can’t believe a kid spoke to you like that.” I just replied simply “Not everyone is raised the same. We just keep doing the right thing and let go of what we can’t control.” I gave them hugs and then shifted into work mode because I had an 8:15 meeting and at that time it was about 7:45.
The walk home usually takes me ten minutes. My brain was already shifting into meeting mode. Responding to a Team’s chat on my phone I turned to begin my trek home. I had made it about fifteen steps when I looked up from my phone to see a woman swathed in layers of athleisure wear marching toward me with fury in her eyes. Just as confusion was draping over me, my eyes caught sight of little miss disrespectful over her shoulder yelling while pointing at me. Now all the dots were connected, and I understood that this young lady was so appalled that someone corrected her that she called her mom.
I would have been amused if this lady wasn’t radiating violence. She came within inches of me and using the same tone here daughter did loudly ask “Are you the woman talking crazy to my kids?” Clearly this lady was hot and there was nothing I could say that was going to get her to listen. So, I put my hands up and replied, “I am not doing this” while I took a sidestep to walk around her. This lady was not having that. She stepped with me and blocked my path. Keep in mind that this is all happening right in front of the school during school drop-off. We were surrounded by kids and other parents all trying to get their kids to school.
In the back of my mind I was thinking I might have to take a punch as I stood there letting this lady display all her crazy while she yells at me about talking to other people’s kids. After listening to this woman throw a fit over something that she wasn’t even there to hear or experience I stepped off the curb saying “I actually have to go to work” while gesturing to my dress pants and shirt.
This lady then proceeded to follow me yelling that I better never talk to anyone else’s children again. Which was such a ridiculous spew because what exactly was, she going to do to enforce her outrageous demand? As she proceeded to follow me, she repeated that command. Frustrated, I was over this whole situation. This woman really thought I should just cower to all her hot air. Giving her what she so clearly wanted, I turned around and mock bowed.
Her shocked face brought an entertained curve to my mouth as she stumbled over her words and stated “you don’t need to bow to me. Just don’t go telling my kids their parents didn’t raise them right.” With a laugh I proceeded to walk away. In all her efforts to convince me that I was wrong she completely proved my point. This was clearly a like mother like daughter situation, and she wasn’t done displaying her crazy as she followed me further down the sidewalk. She again yelled “You better never talk to anyone else’s kids.”
Feeling my phone vibrate with another Teams chat I glanced at my phone only to have the clock remind me that my meeting was starting in about twenty minutes. My hands came together in a loud clap as exasperation boiled over into a frustrated invitation. “You know what?” My words were now coated in anger as I continued “Why don’t you just come back to my house with me. I have a meeting but then you can follow me around and make sure I don’t cross any of your absurd lines. Better yet just teach your kids right from wrong.” As if her brain was stuck on a loop, she kept yelling her singular command as she crossed the road.
At the end of the day, I try to see things from all perspectives. I’m sure when her daughter called her, she made it sound like I was shouting obscenities and threatening her. When my kids come home and tell me something crazy happened or they are really upset about something my first response is to try to understand the full scope of the situation. My kids are not perfect. One of the first questions I ask my kids is “Well, what happened before that?” Usually, I ask this question a few times before I get to the truth of the matter. Most people do not jump straight to upset. Things build until they overflow.
We all have a touch of crazy lady inside us. I can look at this situation and see that my first instinct to disengage was correct. When she blocked my path, I should have stepped off the curb and continued around her. I can have compassion for the fact that I don’t know what else is going on in her life and my correcting her daughter was just what pushed her over the edge.
God gave me the opportunity to practice patience and show compassion, and I failed on both accounts. Regardless of what is thrown at me it is my responsibility to keep my cool and treat whoever is in front of me with the same measure of understanding I would want shown to me when my crazy is on full display.